Last weekend I drove home to see my mother and other relatives. I decided to just be present to them without touching my phone and getting involved in other things except them. I realised that I came back happier than the past many times when I am home. I am sure they were happy too. Most times when I go home, I am involved in many things and spending little time to be physically and emotionally present to my mother and relatives. Most nations, communities and people are obsessed with money, religion, education, good health, peace and security, thinking that those things will give them happiness. At the end of the day, most are shocked to find that this is farther from the truth. Several studies have shown that true happiness arises from only these two things:
- A STRONG SENSE OF COMMUNITY AND
- REGULAR, ENTHUSIASTIC COMMUNITY CELEBRATION.
Societal relationships promote positive feelings. People are happy when they trust each other and can celebrate as a community. Most of us yearn for comfort. These studies tell us that, believe it or not, a better standard of living does not translate into happiness. Take the example of the1950s. One gets a feeling that people were not happy. They were happier then despite having less.
Being the richest, smartest, cutest, in themselves do not guarantee happiness, and neither should the absence of these make one feel unfulfilled. What is important is to cultivate loving relationships. Don’t make TV and radio adverts make you feel less of yourself. You are great even without the best house and car. These should not validate and define you.
The hallmark of psychological health is happiness. We should endeavor to create a strong sense of community everywhere we are like at work, the community where we live, where we pray from, etc. and take part in a community celebration. Growing up in the village, I remember how the whole community would converge when there was a cry for help in one home upon hearing the drumbeat, Ggwanga mujje–“you should all convene to help tackle this problem”. Our homes had no fences but we felt secure. The workplaces were communal and so were the churches.
Friends, I wish to implore you to read the recent encyclical letter that has been written by Pope Francis entitled Fratelli Tutti which translates “On the fraternity and social friendship.” One doesn’t have to be catholic to read it. This document summarizes what religion, different studies and disciplines have discovered about happiness. Religion, psychology, sociology, medicine, economics, environmental science and other disciplines agree on what makes people happy. If you go religious you can summarise happiness research as love of self and love of neighbour, not in words but in action. May we all be happy.
Happy Independence Day.
Henry Nsubuga
Manager, Counselling and Guidance Centre,
Plot 106, Mary Stuart Road (Opposite Mary Stuart Hall),
Makerere University
Email: hnsubuga[at]cgc.mak.ac.ug
Tel: +256-772-558022
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