I am often invited to be on panels interviewing young people for scholarships and other opportunities. Most of these opportunities target students from disadvantaged backgrounds. Many of these breakdown and cry during the course of the interview and quite often the panelist are uncomfortable with the crying. I imagined how staff manage students and fellow staff who cry in front of them.
In therapy crying is usual and we allow it to happen without stopping the one crying. Beginning therapists often find it uncomfortable until they, later on, get used to it. Crying is the action of expression of any emotion felt: happiness, anxiety, frustration, fear and so on. It is the human body’s natural release of the strong feelings that we all, inevitably, feel. We all have emotions and therefore we all cry. Yet, do we cry enough? Do we cry when we really need to? Do we try to manage and control our emotions in a different way in an attempt to stop crying?
Many people I know try to hide their tears, say they can’t cry or try to stop crying when they feel that they need to. This is where our self-judgment comes in: “I should be stronger.” “I am too emotional.” “This isn’t something someone else would cry over.” “I should handle things better.” “I am weak.” “I can’t cry right now because it isn’t the right time.” Males, especially, fall victim to this; although when females cry, they are often looked at as “too emotional.”
Crying is NOT a sign of weakness. It is a sign of emotional strength and a way to heal.
When clients cry, I always tell them, “Cry! Let it out!”
BENEFITS
There are also many physical benefits of crying, including releasing toxins. Tears are your body’s release valve for stress, sadness, grief, anxiety, and frustration. Also, you can have tears of joy, say when a child is born, or tears of relief when a difficulty has passed. It feels cleansing, a way to purge pent up emotions so they don’t lodge in my body as stress symptoms such as fatigue or pain.
Like the ocean, tears are salt water. Protectively they lubricate your eyes, remove irritants, reduce stress hormones, and they contain antibodies that fight pathogenic microbes.
Friends, it is okay to cry if it doesn’t become “chronic crying” which may be a symptom of depression.
BOTH TEARS OF JOY AND SADNESS ARE OKAY TEARS.
Henry Nsubuga
Manager, Counselling and Guidance Centre,
Plot 106, Mary Stuart Road (Opposite Mary Stuart Hall),
Makerere University
Email: hnsubuga[at]cgc.mak.ac.ug
Tel: +256-772-558022
Click here for more information about the Counselling and Guidance Centre
General2 weeks ago
General2 weeks ago
Agriculture & Environment2 weeks ago
General7 days ago
Engineering, Art & Tech1 week ago